The Dating Adventures of Flat April

Meet April. She’s flat. (in case you are blind and didn’t notice)

No, she is not related to that flat Stanley character who everyone knows. Why does everyone ask that?  Flat Stanley is a super wholesome character for children to feel connected to the world. Flat April is dating around,  will use foul language from time to time, and may even talk about sexual escapades. Definitely nothing like that Stanley character at all!

Back to April, rumor has it she was once whole, and after she had her heart ripped out in December 2016, by a narcissistic ass hat she was engaged too, she was flattened. It could have also been the bus he drove over her a few times in the months that followed.

Flat April is ready get out there and date again, and it’s a pretty fucked up situation. Men are not like they used to be, because they are allowed to get away with much more in today’s society. The age of internet puts hundreds of possible women right at their fingertips. It’s a smorgasbord of unadulterated flirtations, explicit encounters, and dick pics.  Women are used and dispensed like candy these days…. and possibly vice versa. 😉

To top it off, even though she is very youthful in appearance, at the start of this blog, Flat April is 37 years old, 5’10” and a little on the chunky side (hey! She’s working on it!). This narrows the choices of appropriate candidates, unless she wants to never wear heels again or achieve her cougar badge of honor. (They do say younger men are more virile)

Even with dreading pretty much everything about dating, she fully expects that dating and meeting men will be an adventure. There may be a few (dozen) toads to kiss along the way, and some old ones popping their heads back in for a turn.

Because of the past, Flat April is going to be much more picky, so don’t expect some run of the mill love saga. Expect to see someone who isn’t putting up with shit!

These poor men…..

Note: pictures and names may be shown but if it’s particularly scathing and hostile story, names will be changed and faces covered to black out the identities


Add yours →

  1. I would love to share some of my adventures with Flat April…..but I’m soooo looking forward to reading her stories!!!!


  2. Lol! I love ya girlie!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love you flat April and look forward to reading all about your escapades! You are one of the coolest chicks I know 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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