The Case of the Long Distance Tinder Connection

I have spent the last week or so chatting it up with a man on Tinder we shall call Alex. He was physically attractive to me, even with his red hair (which I don’t normally find attractive), and he was so nice. He never got fresh, or tried to get anything out of me inappropriate. I just really enjoyed talking to him. I was looking forward to him asking me on a date honestly.

During our conversations I was led to believe he lived a few cities north of me in beautiful SW FL, and that he was originally from Duluth, MN. He was divorced and he has two daughters, one who was on Spring Break right now so he took the week off of work to do fun stuff with her.

Ya know, I’m currently writing a book as well as this blog. Writing a book is a great feat for a flat person, but I’m loving every second of it. The working title of the book is “Ten Ways Not to Break Your Own Heart While Dating.”  It’s basically my story (names changed) and each chapter is a story of me dating after heartbreak with a tip/lesson learned attached.

I’m currently working on a chapter with the lesson being “Trust Your Gut.”

Surprise, surprise, Alex was a prime example of this lesson. While I was chatting with Alex he seemed to avoid certain questions. He made some references to Minnesota that made my spidey senses tingle like Spiderman’s when he’s fighting a bad guy. The icing on the cake though is that while his daughter was on spring break, he took her parasailing and deep sea fishing.

Now, if you live in say, Minnesota, that may not seem too weird to you. But I’m telling you, no Florida resident goes parasailing here. We wait to do that until we are on our own vacations, on a Caribbean Island, far away. We most certainly wouldn’t go Deep Sea Fishing in the same week. I beg you to ask anyone who had lived in Florida for any amount of time, and you will probably find zero people who have actually been parasailing here. Shit, most of us don’t make it to the beach more than twice a year. Those are things that tourists/vacationers do. So, I’ve had that feeling in my gut all week that something devious was afoot, but never brought it up.

Alex seemed genuine though, and opened up to me through Tinder with what seemed to be very honest emotions about his divorce and subsequent heartache.

So this morning, while at work, minding my own damn business, I receive this message:

“Good Morning Sunshine! Well, the clock has struck 12:00 and my carriage has been turned into a pumpkin. [his daughter] and I are flying back to MN, the fun is over. 

[Flat] April, I have a confession. Everything I have told you about myself is 100% true about me, my kids, and my situation. However, I do live and work in MN. My parents are snowbirds and live here half the year. I visit 1-2 times a year and generally bring the girls.

**….

I hope you can understand? This has been the hardest 1-2 years of my life but it is so nice to meet people like you who understand where I have been and are coming from. You are the type of person I would genuinely want to meet and get to know more of. I think you are a kind person and I love your outlook on life.   

I hope you are not mad but I understand if you are.”

** took some of the nonsense out of the middle rambling out because it was unimportant

____________________________________________________________________________________________

W… T… F…. why! But I knew it already, didn’t I? My gut told me several times during the week we talked he may not live here. It’s crazy that this situation just gives me more validation to have trusted my gut, because it actually works. It makes me feel more firm about all my gut feelings about my ex. It’s empowering to know that my ability to read situations is not off as my ex made it out to be.

I wont lie though, his message made me tear up a little, and I could be mad, but I’m not. You see, most men, when they contact women on Tinder out of their area, whether away on business or vacation, are normally looking for a hook up. This hook up is usually occurring behind their significant others back. I actually make it a point not to converse with men who are here on vacation, so I got to know him BECAUSE he lied.  I never once got the devious vibe from Alex. Alex never even showed me any sexual intentions at all. He seemed genuine and honest… my gut did tell me that also.

I guess right now flat April is disappointed, because even what appeared to be one of the diamonds in the rough…. ended up lying.

Oh well, not sure I could have handled that Minnesota accent anyway. NEXT!

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