Any woman who has been single for any amount of time knows that with dating, it’s feast or famine.
One week you’re talking to 5 perspective men, some with potential, some of whom never ask you out, and others who make it clear they just want to get laid. Almost all of them eventually fall off by the wayside. Some of them just stop chatting, some you meet and it’s a big no, and others you find out actually live in Minnesota 1500 miles away from you. (I’ll admit the specificity of the Minnesota thing is pretty rare)
I am currently in the weird dating “in between.” I’m still hearing from men from my past, men nothing will happen with, and men I’m simply not interested in. I can’t seem to meet anyone new, or even keep a conversation going with anyone for that matter. It’s a strange sort of dating hell that seems to happen in spurts.
So whats a girl to do when she can’t get a date or meet anyone new?
I think the title has already told you what you do… you do you! I’m not talking about masturbation though friends (though that is probably a smart move if you don’t want to get frustrated), I’m talking about living your own life to the fullest.
As human beings, who thrive on connectivity and relationships, it seems the value of ones self is often times dependent on ones relationship status. Someone who hasn’t been in a relationship for awhile may start to consider themselves unlovable. They may let the loneliness eat at them and use it as a determining factor for their own self worth.
Ladies, it’s just not true. You are valuable no matter if some random piggish man sees that value or not. You are worth loving yourself.
Unless you are doing something completely wrong in life, like setting standards way too high, or not putting yourself out there, being single rarely lasts forever. This is the time to enjoy it before you are committed to another relationship!
Reconnect with friends, go out, learn something new and test your boundaries.
That is what this Flat April has been doing lately as well as dating, and I’m finding I don’t feel as flat anymore by finding myself again. (even though I still am flat because that would kill my entire blog)
The past two Saturday nights I went out with a friend to a different places for their Salsa nights. I’m not a Salsa dancer, but it was a lot of fun, and just by watching I learned a lot. I’m still getting up the nerve to try it, even though I’ve had offers from men to dance.
I’m going to Zumba several times a week. I know Zumba makes someone sound like a basic bitch, but I beg those people who think that to go try it. An hour of Zumba will kick your ass! Not to mention it’s pretty darn fun. Unfortunately it makes me want to use my Zumba moves at Salsa and after watching some Salsa dancing I can see how that would be utterly ridiculous.
I’ve made plans with friends to hit the beach, pool and BBQ days, do lunch with friends, girls night out to dinner, and attended basically everything I’ve been invited too. I’m considering doing Wednesday night Volleyball soon.
In my spare time, I’ve found my love for writing and sharing my thoughts by starting this blog and starting to finally write my book. I just bought a new table for my apartment so I have space to start painting because I also loved to paint, but just rarely took the time. And I know it’s weird, but I feel a massive drive to put together a puzzle too.
I have a cruise to Mexico and Key West planned in a little less than two months with a friend. Getting out there and seeing the world on your own terms is incredible. (Key West and Cozumel are not new to me though…. Hi, I’m flat April and I’m a cruise addict)
And sadly, on top of all that I’ve worn Netflix out in my down time while cuddling with my dog.
The single life is the time to get reacquainted with yourself, and dispose of who you were when you were in the relationship.
Lets get real ladies, when you’re in a relationship, suddenly you have to answer for your time. You conform and give your time to that person who you love, and it will eventually change who you are because you now have another human to work around. You change your patterns and don’t take as much time for yourself.
The single life isn’t forever, it’s a microcosm of your life. Go enjoy it!
Men are just not that important, and you will know when you are ready to settle back down again when you meet the one you want to do that with. Until then, why are you wasting your time by being down about being single. NO WAY! There is just as much enjoyment to be had by being on your own!
OK, I’m off to party somewhere! (just kidding, I’m stuck at work while writing this… wishing I could break up with work)